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NightSky

Broke up with g/f of over 7 yrs

And she may be reading this cause I told her I joined her so... please be careful what you say! lol But yeah, I ended it cause my life is going in a different direction and she's stuck in her way of life that just doesn't meld well with my new transition. She also broke my trust hardcore and even though I took her back after that, I never got over it. She didn't change that aspect of herself and it just bothered me too much not being able to trust her. I'm stressed out about the situation because she was my roomate and the whole financial thing is kinda like the s hittin' the f, but I'm already plannin' things out. I'm not sure if it has really hit me yet. It took me two weeks to break up w/her (no, I didn't misstype that), but I feel weird about it. I think after a month of not seeing her, it will sink in... Anyways, it's also a relief to be out of it because staying with her for the wrong reasons was eating me up inside! And I've been staying with her for the wrong reasons for quite a while. So the end of one chapter in my life and the beginning of another. Oh yeah, and I'm avoiding LTRs like the plague right now! lol
Lynn

Wow, that sucks. Break-ups always suck. But I guess it's for the better now, I mean, without trust, the relationship can never be at it's best. Anyway, it's better to be 'alone' for the right reasons, then together for the wrong ones.
Big hug =)
NightSky

Oh I totally agree with you. I got with her a month after I came out, so being able to have this freedom is pretty sweet. Ty for the hug. Smile
Nimbo

D'aww i'm sorry to hear that Nightsky *Huuuuuuge hug*
Honestly it was better that you broke it off instead of letting all those bad feelings fester and poison your relationship and your mind... Ha! take that Dr.Phil xD
nekotine

Ugh. Break ups. Ick. >_<

I'm kinda torn as to how to comment on this because my last break up was over the same thing but we were both going through transitions in our lives. Only thing was, I was trying to transition so that I could include her more in my life, and her's apparently just...took her away from me, which sucked because it was a long distance relationship to begin with. I loved her with all my heart and would've done anything to still be with her but I knew that if I just clung onto her, it would never work out. So even though I knew I was going to be hurting over it for a long, long time, I let her go because it's useless to hold onto something that just...doesn't want to be yours anymore. So yeah, unfortunate as it is, you have to let the people you care about go or you just end up driving yourself crazy trying to believe that they/things will change for the better.

And on the issue of trust, that's always a very delicate thing and really, once it's broken, even if you forgive them, things will never be the same. You can try to rebuild a relationship but if the foundation is still loose...not going to do much good.

Anyhow, *hugs* I hope things work out for you and her. Hopefully things weren't so bad that you can't still be friends or at least civil around each other? ^^;
Kat_Edw

Wow thats a grim topic lil miss. I hope ur feeling better by now at least. Break ups are always worse when you're not entirely sure what the fuck just happened. I hate it when things are out of my control, when i cant fix things myself, and your situation seems just like that, so i say well done you. For being strong enough to realize how things are and strong enough to decide its best for you if you step out. People dont change, only their feelings do, and that is what makes their actions change. I know for sure i treated all my girlfriends a hell of a lot better than i treat anyone else...which isnt hard but still. It hurts when someone seems to not care, but when it seems that way unfortunately its usually true no matter what they say or you think. Some girls care less than others in general, but if thats not ur type of girl then the problem still exists. You cant be with someone and always be waiting for them to change. Not fair on you or them.
NightSky

Nimbo, ty for the hugs. Smile It did linger and poison my relationship. I let it go on too long even though I knew it was over. Live and learn I guess.

nekotine, I'm sorry to hear that. You are right though about not holding on to something that doesn't want to be held on to. My g/f was like that when I broke up w/her. It made it really hard on both of us. That's why it took so long to break up w/her. I can't help but feel like the bad guy in this but the truth is, I did us both a favor even though it may not seem like it right now. And I totally agree with you on the trust thing. I tried really hard to gain in back in her but because she still hid things from me, I could never trust her again like I did before.

Kat_Edw, wow, thanks for that response! I couldn't have worded it better.

"People dont change, only their feelings do, and that is what makes their actions change."
I love that! That is absolutely true! I changed so much to be a better person and to improve our relationship, which it did, but she couldn't admit to a lot of her flaws, so she never grew past issues that lingered on 'till the end of our relationship. That's actually why I ended it.

"It hurts when someone seems to not care"
Nail on head right there. I didn't give up in the relationship. I definitely tried but in the end, it was over and only I ended up admitting it.

Thanks again everyone for all your posts! I would give you all real hugs but can't seem to get my arms through the cable. lol So net one will have to do. *hug* Smile

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