| Archive for Lesbian Gamers .com The Forum Lesbian Gamers Forum - Video Game Talk by Girls Who Like Girls Who Like Games |
| vou |
GenderFollowing the so who are you thread I just wanted to put up my recent blog entry on gender. I know I'm not the only person who has troubles with default gender roles but here feel free to add your 2 cents in lol
Subject: Wow I'm an activist Entry: In my quest to fully identify and define myself, I have stumbled on the fact that I might be a social activist! Well before I explain the activism, let's talk about gender and gender roles. Alot of times I get mixed definitions and labels thrown at me but they've never really fully defined me so I was on a never ending quest to find the perfect term or the perfect fit. As such I've proclaimed myself genderless or the easy on the eyes option "androgynous". Now if it where that straight forward, I wouldn't be writing this but obviously people fear what they do not understand, so alot of times I get stick for just being me. This only makes my quest for education and eye opening even more enjoyable! Ok so we'll start off with some quotes from various people on their definitioins of me: "Aish, I would say you're more studdish than anything...." "Yeah I'd say soft stud" "Damn why are you acting like a man" "I don't know you're quite butchy but I can still see your softer side" "Man stud niggaz don't do that shit" "stud up maan what's wrong with you" "yeah you do you but i'll definately say stud, some of the things you do can only be seen that way" Now there's more but you get the general picture, the main constant being the stud element and abit of something people can't place their finger on. My personal belief and personal quote is "stud/butch is a state of mind" just like gender roles. It's the way you are, its pure and simple human behaviour! But those labels fail to fully define me, while I accept the stud in me, there's more to it, hence I use androgynous to give a more well rounded label. Androgny encompasses both concepts of gender i.e. male and female gender roles. Now while I can jump up and down and state the fact that I'm butch till the end there's still the fact that I posses some feminine traits (and I do act faggoty (faggoty is when you can see the feminine side of someone who's stud/butch; no offence to my maricons a.k.a homo boys, i love y'all))afterall I am anatomically female. With that anatomy comes other traits, the pms, the sensitivity and other such things that people sometimes fight so hard to hide! So as much as I'd like to proclaim my studdish self I can't deny the fact that elements of the lady are within and I've taken a vow to always be myself . Ok so I've figured it out, why I'm I still rambling on? Well it's fascinating and to be fair I'm here to challenge assumptions about gender, stereotypes and such. I am an individual and what governs me is God and humanity. I take the humanitarian approach. Be all that you can be and be true yourself. So whatever label I get thrown into, I am happy in the knowledge that i have once and for all figured out who I am and I am happy with the results so here's a big one to all the studs,femmes,dykes,bis,queens,bears,twinks,straight acting,trannies, inbetweens, heteros and andro people who are happy to be themselves!! I have the utmost love and respect for y'all!! Over and Out VoU PS - Oh yeah the activist part. Apparently what I am is a form of social activism in response to assumptions or over-generalisations about genders so its all smiles for me, not only I'm i enjoying being myself but I'm being an activist!! Gotta love it! Oh yeah feel free to drop in your 2 cents! |
||
| Sierra |
I'm not a big fan of gender. Gender analysis, certainly. I get tired of gender roles because of how they box us in. Anyway, gender seems to be pretty meaningless now, other than as a way to keep women and queers down. It's very hierarchical, and I don't think that's healthy for societies or individuals. | ||
| teh spikey |
The term "Androgony" is a tricky one, IMO. Alot of people think of masculinity and feminity as opposing ends of a scale, eg:
Masculine |----------/----------| Feminine with Androgony falling smack in the middle. I dont think it quite fits, though. To me, "androgony" means having low masculinity, AND low femininity. When we think of this in terms of appearance in women, its thin, straight figures, small breasts, and short, styled hair. (typically very similar to andro boys, minus the breasts, which you could argue is the same anyway) Altogether different to someone who has high masculinity AND high femininity, i.e, a graph more like this: Masculinity |------------------/--| Femininity |------------------/--| Large breasts, curvy figures, loose fitting typically "masculine" clothes and mannerisms or interests... Though ultimately I agree with you both. Gender and gender roles are just unwieldy and clumsy nowadays, alot of the time people redefine the categories themselves in order to try and define what they are. (like me, in all that who-ha above  ) *shrug* Just be yourself I say, I dont give a hoot how others define me.
|
||
| C4bl3Fl4m3 |
About gender...
I'd have to respectfully disagree with you. I love gender. Granted traditional gender roles are horribly oppressive when we're forced into them. People telling you what gender you are totally sucks. But now that we're figuring out that there's many many genders out there... Now that we're starting to define for OURSELVES our genders... Now that gender can be something WE choose, WE define, WE are inherently, and WE wear for fun... Gender is so terribly LIBERATING. I consider myself genderfluid. This means that I'm a guy and a girl (and other genders that we don't have names for yet), and I switch between them. Somedays, I'm in guy mode. Somedays, I'm in girl mode. Most days, I'm just me, which leans more traditionally masculine than feminine, but has some definite traditionally female touches in there. It took me a long time to come to genderfluid as my gender. Mainly because I hadn't heard of the word until the past year or so. Up until then, I was using "bigender" as my gender, but that didn't feel quite right. I didn't feel like both genders at once. Androgynous doesn't cut it, because that feels more like a "neither" or a 50/50 than a 100% both at the same time. I don't come off to people as androgynous. I guess one would have to say that my look is more "gender confused" than "gender neutral". I even threw around using tomboy as my gender identifier for a while. It's an idea that still isn't totally out the window. Perhaps when I'm my "usual me" gender, tomboy is the right word for it. Gender variant certainly applies to me. It always has, even when I was a tomboy girl kid. But gender can be so liberating. Once you figure out what gender you are, and find the words to describe it (when used negatively, these words are called "labels"), you can then tell the world about an essential part of who you are. Femmes have figured this out. They have the word "femme" and own it proudly, and I am so proud to have my femme sisters being out, loud, and proud about being femmes. They say "yes, I'm a femme. And I take NO SHIT for it. There's nothing wrong with me expressing myself the way I feel the most comfortable." And then you can PLAY with gender. Explore different archetypes. Create new archetypes and paradigms. Make up new genders, explore established ones. Hell, you can even explore traditional gender roles if you like. They're archetypes, too, and in and of themselves, they're not bad. It's when people force them on people and use them to oppress that they're bad. Sometimes it's fun to be the woman-nurturer or the man-protector. Drag performers have figured out the fun and the power of playing with archetypes. Gender is only hierarchical when you let it be. Unfortunately, in this society, gender IS used as part of a hierarchy. But when you step outside of society's influence, be it living in your own community or your own play with others, then gender is neutral. YOU decide if masculinity or femininity or androgyny or whatever has power over other forms of gender expression. I know that gender is used to oppress people, and it makes me so sad when I see something that's so... real, powerful... for me being used to oppress and hurt others. I love gender. I honestly think being bisexual (as opposed to being monosexual) helps me with my love of gender and archetypes. I love both the masculine, the strong, the powerful, the fierce, broad shoulders, etc. and the feminine, the gentle, the curvey, the soft and smooth, etc.. And I also love the feminine in the fatale, the beguiling, the power, the independence. And I love the strong but gentle nurturer masculine. And I adore the neutrality that makes me wonder if someone is male or female. The uncertainty, the possibility, the Trickster element. But when I see this being used to hold others down and back... it enrages me. It makes me so hurt and so angry. Gender is not irrelevant. And gender in and of itself is not harmful. It's only when people decide that certain gender traits are more desirable than others and then they hold them on a pedestal that the problem happens. |